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The Most Wonderful Time of the Year at the Worst Possible Time of the Month
by Anonymous -
F
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28 to 32
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SI: Staten Island
It was the night before Christmas. My boyfriend M. had bought some essie nail polish
as a gift for his mother. M. can be kind of lazy, and his plan was to give it to her by just
dropping it in her stocking without even wrapping it. I was to be meeting his family for
the first time that Christmas, and I wanted things to be perfect, so I told him he needed to
put it into a box and wrap it. He resisted, but I was pretty insistent.
Unbeknownst to me, rather than finding a nice box, like a normal human being, M.
met my demands by going into the bathroom and grabbing a toothpaste box out of the
trashcan. He dropped the nail polish into the open end of the box and wrapped it.
Fast forward: Christmas morning. Grandparents. Cousins. Little kids were running
around. The whole family was opening gifts around the tree. As a family tradition, they
announce whom each gift is from and all watch as each gift is opened, one by one.
We came to M.’s gift to his mom. With the whole family watching, she opened the box
up and pulled out a strange object wrapped in toilet paper. She peeled off the toilet paper,
revealing – a SMELLY USED TAMPON? She promptly dropped the tampon to the
floor, with a confused look on her face.
The second I saw the thing I knew it was mine. Not only had my dumbass boyfriend
taken a box from the trash, he hadn’t even checked to make sure it was empty!
Mortified, I stood straight up and left the room, with everyone silently watching me go.
What a shitty introduction to my boyfriend’s family!
M.’s family is pretty cool as it turns out, so once everyone figured out what happened,
they all just chalked it up to M. being an idiot and laughed it off. Still, I fear that on our
wedding day, I will be cringing at stories of my bloody Christmas introduction to the
family.
Talk Amongst Yourselves:
- How did you introduce your significant other to your parents?
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year at the Worst Possible Time of the Month
At least it must have been dried up after a few days...a freshie woulda been much worse!
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I actually think I would break up with the guy on the spot. He pulled a toothpaste box out of the trash? That's crazy.
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